Somehow in my life I took a wrong turn, I went from not eating well but not being really that much over weight to being a lot over weight. I am embarrassed. How did I really get here? why am I here?
I know I have worked on this for a lot of years but so much has been just the work in my mind and not the actual active work. Or I lose momentum and just start making bad decisions, one after another, knowing full well that I am doing it.
As I date again I have found myself more confident than I have been until it comes to the idea of actually being intimate with someone. I know I am not "in shape" and thus what is good is not great. I am limited and I am not truly allowing myself to be the best I can be. It is embarrassing. Add that to the already self conscious thoughts that go on when one gets intimate with another and my insecurity grows. At times I want to just not go there, but that is running away.
Something tells me that, while this is an issue, I am wanting to run away for other reasons and this is just an easy scape goat.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment