mixed signals

Mixed signals seem to be the name of the game right now. Both from/with me and from/with some of those close to me.

What is a "commitment"? Sure there are so many levels when dating. But I am totally aware that the man I have been dating is not into commitment right now. Yet at the same time we talk long hours, have great dates, and he makes it a point to go to lunch with me today. I am delighted by this all, and am not complaining I am just confused.

What is a commitment? I don't know if I can answer that myself. It seemed so easy prior to him, I went on a date or two then I would be exclusive with the person then as in a "relationship" and it ended up bad and we broke up. What part really meant commitment to me and more specifically what am I looking for when I use the term? Am I looking for it?

He lights up my life. In such a wonderful way, I see him in the morning and even on a bad day I just want to laugh and kiss his cute square nose. But we are at work so I instead act moody. grr I annoy even myself with that. I am trying not to fall so I try to keep the boundary but long for his chat, for his witty words and raspberries.

So back to this commitment thing. Do I have a hard time he is dating others? Yes, but why? What kind of commitment am I looking for or am I? Is dating one person a major commitment if you are still just dating? When does it become more? So I send all sorts of mixed messages back