The peace of a cup of coffee

I take a deep breath and open the glass door to the building. The cheering from the football game roars in the background and fades slowly as the door closes. This has a familiar feeling of a movie I must have seen once. White paper coffee cup filled with my steamed extra foam coffee in hand I walk across the empty foyer. The uneven stone floor keeps me looking down and holding onto the coffee cup a bit tighter than usual. The elevator door opens quickly when called and I walk in and shrug against the back wall. The doors slide together I close my eyes and realize it is familiar because this is how many romantic comedies start, single girl at work alone exhausted working extra hours to make it up the corporate ladder that she isn't sure she knows where it goes, other than she is suppose to be on it. I chuckle to myself as I open my eyes, realizing many horor films start much the same way. So what kind of day was I about to have?

As I closed my eyes I couldn't drown out the chanting that had filled my previous night. If you could even call it a dream, I woke up so many times I didn't know if I ever slept yet was out of it enough to know I wasn't up all night. But every time I "awoke" I hear me calling for him to come to me. Over and over non-stop. Every time I closed my eyes, like this morning, the same chanting filled my head. It rolled around until it pushed all other thoughts out. I was embarassed, did he here me last night? Did I break through the night world of dreams and reach him and keep him up too? Did I wish I hadn't or do I wish I had? If I had that means he can hear me in ways no one else can and I did communication in ways I have always wanted. But if I did then that also means this man I have known for a dozen days has a connection to me that permeates into my night world. Something that has never happened prior. I wanted to be afraid yet I couldn't find the strength to be. I was curious why it had happened more than anything. Why would I call out, I wasn't hurting, I wasn't in need. Was it me or someone else through me? This is a world I have never been a part of. Have I protected myself enough? Not from him but from anyone who might want to protect him and thus see me as a threat? Am I a threat to anyone? All this was again drowned out by the chant as I gave in, closed my eyes and sipped on the warm foamy coffee.