Such a small thing, the radio button in a form on a page about me, yet I feel the power and energy that little button holds. It tells the world so much with just being there. I changed it today. It makes me giddy and yet vulnerable. I have made the move first, yet I know it as much as it can mean, it really doesn't have to mean anything. It is how others perceive me, which is a million different ways and truly I cannot control that. That little button can't either. It is all slight influences, snippets into the me I am willing to show to them. Sometimes though it is hard to remember what is the true me. I have been searching for it for so long, but yet I know it has always been here, under muck and worries, under expectations and flesh. It is still a pretty little black dot. It makes me smile. It is unexpected to have it enter into my life, I was prepped for quite awhile having it static and unmoved from its spot.
That spot is representing so much of what I am feeling. It is just something there an abstract idea that I am making into so much more, but yet why can't I make a big deal? I am excited. The change is a thrill, it is a chill, it is tingling all over. It is a sparkle in my eye and one that looks back at me, a soft hand wrapped around mine, a negotiation of your place or mine, quirks and soft spoken words. The dot isn't forever, it is just a dot which I am quite glad about. Forever is so far away, I always thought I wanted forever now, and realized no I just am enjoying the dot...no matter what people think and regardless if there will be a matching dot to recipicate.
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