cliche' after home cliche

I am surprised by myself. I thought that this wouldn't happen to me, I wouldn't feel this way. I had hoped and I had prayed, most recently at the sweat lodge. And yet here it is, presented to me, not perfect but then again in it's own way it is perfect in its imperfectness.

I got use to sleeping with him. I got use to the sounds and the habits. To say use to is not the full affect. I love it. I went to my Snoho home and it felt empty, my heart wasn't there, my soul wasn't there, my guides weren't just waiting for me. I didn't feel like calling to them. I am exhausted and hated to admit that I missed my family. My sweet Bing and darling lioness with all her meows. I know she will mellow, he is good for her. The bed is too small for the three of us though.

His eyes twinkle at me across the elevator at works sometimes. A woman noticed today, no one we work with. I felt like, I had a fleeting feeling, yet then that disappeared and I smiled as his gaze never faltered.

I am breathless when I read his poetry, knowing this man loves me and knows the little things that bring a twinkle to my eyes. He is also so honest about things that some people shy about. He asked me if it bothered me that we didn't have sex the past couple days, and that is something I have never had someone even think to ask me. My thoughts rarely counted. Of course at that moment I was okay since the stress of transfering my life with my lioness, and my heart and her need to talk to us even though we don't get what she is saying. But regardless it is the ability to step outside of one's own thoughts and to truly think of another and to reach out and risk being hurt. That is what makes me long for the days to end and for me to be at my new home. It is a comfort that feels real, like all else I have felt was childs play. A lot to be on my mind and working on call is rougher than I expected. I feel inadequate at work. Like I can't hold my own. I find myself looking blankly at some of my cases and my head is as blank as my look. I know I know how to do it for the life of me I can't figure it out.

I am rambling and falling asleep on the train. I wonder how many times someone has tried to probe my thoughts and energy on here. Has anyone at all? were they successful?