feeling bad for feeling good

I suddenly feel bad for feeling good about having my own place. I know he has my concerns in place as well as his own. We love each other and it is obvious we would worry about this being a step back in our relationship instead of forward. I have just learned that I cannot live with someone in a one bedroom place. And I also cannot live in a place that might be contributing to migraines.

It is the difference between the night and day. One day it is his idea, the night he is acting depressed. I totally understand, moodps change. I was just hoping for support in this decision since he said he would support me and not be upset if I moved out.

I want a place that is part mine. He said that I can do whatever I need to to be comfortable here but yet it is his place and he wants to get his stuff since he hasn't ever own his own stuff. That is huge for him and I am excited for him. But I want a desk and my sheets, and my couch.

I know where he is coming from, since I love waking up to him as well and falling asleep to him as well. Last night i couldn't sleep, again too much caffeine and things on my mind and this morning I felt like he was upset.

I am a codependent and giving too much of myself, but not in the right way. Therefore I am stressed a lot more and it is all going to mush. I am grumpy, my work suffers, my concentration suffers. By having some space of my own I am hoping that I can get my balance back (or at least close to it since I never really had balance). Right now with his health and all that I am becoming more like a mother than girlfriend, and that is making it hard to just be a girlfriend. The closeness of being a girlfriend/boyfriend isn't like it use to be. I am banking on the fact that I won't be here every night that I can get that playfulness back in my personality, the joking, the bubbly, etc. And then I can share that with Bing.

After all the health issues and work stress we have gone that I am taking care of me to take care of us.