What am I doing, I just lost the trust of the person dearest to me, over a doll and an addiction. Neither which are anything to me, I would give it all up for him.
This doesn't help an already sour mood that seems to be between us. I seem to be doing everything wrong, both in my life and relating to his. The more that I seemed to do this the more I second guessed some actions and made bad decisions about other things.
It all made sense in my head and yet it was wrong. How can I let him know that I love him so deeply and I have made some ridiculous awful mistakes and all I want to do is make it better. To fix everything and erase all the bad things I have done. Yet I know, there is no erasing.
He and I seem to have each made a fair share of deeply wrong decisions, but that doesn't mean we are bad together. It just means we have been going through intense times and not always dealt with everything the best way.
Where is the refresh/reboot button for life and relationships? Right now I feel like everything is my fault, since I don't know how to deal with pressure or stress in any good way. And therefore I find myself yet again tearing up at work, in pain for what a mess I have made my life, again.
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