vice grip of silence

Last night I felt a vice grip of anger and silence. Neither I do well with. Two people who are extremely dear to me were angry and to process the anger they got quiet and stopped talking to me. One has been longer than last night. I cracked and that made them both pull back further and seeth more. Or so it seemed. I made an important decision last night after grasping for them both and both rejecting me I realized this was me. I needed to change the situation.

I cleansed my space, my mind, my chakras, I prayed, I unplugged some, I did everything I have been putting off. I found a new strength that was from within. The one that everyone told me I had. I let go and let god. I let go of the anger I felt back, the hurt, the worry, the fear of them leaving my life completely, for I realized this was my lesson, I needed to stand on my own. I have been putting myself in a no win situation by doing what I want and listening to everyone else.

I felt like I grew ethereally, I felt like a baby bird spreading out those wings and really feeling the strength that ws inherit to the bird by being who she is. I was able to find love in my heart and grow it out. I found smiles which I couldn't find during the day. I was able to be me, the one that I and everyone around me enjoys. I give again, and not just take.

I surrender to the love and light energy that is within me, is me, and is the universe and man does it feel amazing.