bubbling emotions

Before I got up from bed since I couldn't sleep, thank you late cafe au lait that called to me this afternoon, I had a welling up of emotion. I didn't know if I wanted to paint, or try to write poetry, or wake him and make love. The bubbling up of emotion, such love for this man even as we are challenged by health and life and negative that is all around. I cupped his hand in mine and brought it to my lips and then placed other hand under his pillow under his head. I shared my energy, my pure pink love for him as he slept there. The longer I was there the more the emotions overcame me. I wanted to write so eloquently how his goofiness makes me laugh even when I don't want to, that his eyes give me the look of love that makes me feel like a princess or angel that floated off the ground. How his soft touch and soft words are never demanding or cruel. They are tender and kind in the all the ways that made the word gentle-man come to be.

I love stroking his hair, his lips on mine, the playfulness he has with all edges of earth

The future for us will have great challenges, but being with him also has such great rewards. I have learned so much from being with him and know I will learn more. But it is beyond learning, I am inspired. I want to paint, I want to write, I want to create. I want to express what is bottling up inside me, both the pain and the love. I want what I create out of love be it artwork or blankets or whatever to surround us in our home and continue to supply us safety and strength. I pray to the powers that be that they protect us and help me protect myself, my love, my home, my family, and his family who are now so dear to me.

blessed be